Will You Marry Me? No, Thanks!

Haya Abdul Aziz gives a typical story on how new marriages in Saudi Arabia go on, and says newlyweds should realize that starting a new life is difficult under the best of circumstances and it should never be done under a weight of loans and pressing financial obligations. The thing is, there is no other choice. A cousin of mine who is getting engaged this year told me that there is no way he is getting married without taking a loan. “Even though this loan would be from some family members, and I’m under no pressure to payback immediately, but I hate to take loans from anybody, even my family.” However, “there is no way I’m getting married without taking a loan,” he kept saying.

Those who know me personally know very well that I don’t agree with the mechanism of marriage in our society. How will I ever get married? I try to ignore questions like this because it is simply depressing. If you can read Arabic and want to know what kind of hell we have to go through in order to get married, take a look at Ibrahim’s blog, which is, btw, quite amusing and one of my favourite Saudi blogs.

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4 thoughts on “Will You Marry Me? No, Thanks!

  1. When I tell people about my wedding and my dowry their jaws drop. The concept of weddings and dowries are enough to send any Saudi male off to another country to secretly marry a foriegn woman. So many we know do it, so many women I know have married such men. To start life on in debt, and for a man to consider a woman who is suppose to be his mate, supporter and spouse to suggest that he does is beyond my understanding. And for families to expect this hardship be placed on a man is hard of heart. Also add in that most weddings are such a disgusting display of over indulgence and flesh marketing than its even worse.

    one more note, dowries do not represent the worth of a woman.. my goodness she isn’t property that is being bought, and the lower the price the cheaper she appears.

    I sympathize with saudi males in this.


  2. thanks , i’m a big fan to , your blog is in my browser fav. list

    it was inspiring for me to start blogging , with respect that i prefer not to blog in english

    best wishes

  3. I stumbled acrost your blog. Don’t know why. However; this is my perspective. But to understand where I stand, a little about my background. I am a convert to Islam (3 years now), female, and American (German and Irish). I live in North Dakota, in the states. I have never been out of the country.( well Canada)

    I don’t know why weddings have to cost so much in the first place; because they don’t and that’s stupid to have expenses. And another thing is, what would be a resonable dowry? I am not married by the way so never had to think about it really.

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