While we were on the way back from Zara, my friend Mo sparkled this discussion. I will put some blasts from this discussion here. I don’t want to go on details about who said what. I will just try to write down what impressed me the most.

Why can’t I have a lifestyle that is similar to other students’ lifestyle? They will never miss a chance to go to coffee shops between classes, they will finish the classes and go to spend the few remaining hours of morning in malls, and they usually have some plan to meet later in the evening at the fancy Attahlia street (This is the street’s old name. The government has named it after some prince now, but this name still sounds way much better and it’s actually more popular) or somewhere else where they can hang out and have a good time.

I do nothing here. When I was back home in Hassa, I used to go out every other night or so. Maybe Hassa does not have Starbucks or Olaya St., but at least somehow I could manage to have a good time. Is it because I’m a bit different? Or is it simply because I don’t know how to fit in with Riyadh boys? I know being Shi’ite in a city like Riyadh is not helping, but I don’t think it is a major reason for this situation.

I could think of plenty of reasons. I come from a socially different background. Also, I come from a different class. I belong to the middle-class, and I can say I always had a good life. However, it seems to me that the mid-class here in Riyadh has much better level of living than the one I had back in Hassa.

Sometimes, my class-mates invite me to go out with them, and even without all the above in mind, I tend to say “sorry, I can’t come with you guys.” There is always something deep inside me that tells me not to join them. Is it because I’m really different and it will be really hard for me to fit in, or is it just better not to enter a world that could be not suitable to a boy like me?

Sometimes, it is really hard to find answers.